23 July 2003 - 8:31 pm

There are people in the world, who grew up in major metropolitan areas, and despite their location and being surrounded by the finest a city has to offer, can only be described as hicks. I call them City Hicks.

I had never met such a creature before moving to LA. It was inconceivable to me. Rednecks native to the urban environment. One of them used to be my ex-boyfriend’s boss. There was nothing to outwardly give him away. He dressed nicely enough, in fact my boyfriend was somewhat modeling his style of dress after him. Short sleeved rayon or cotton shirts with flat, square cut tails and front to the shirt, a pleasing color or light pattern. Not garish like Hawaiian shirts, but of the same cut. Dark or tan cotton twill pants, cool shoes. The shirts may or may not be vintage, as may also be the shoes. The boss actually favored all things Italian, believing they gave him instant style and class.

The boss had visited Italy, and had come away wanting to emulate and model after the Italian style. He acted in his breathless enthusiasm and gushing about Italy, as if it were the only spot for style and culture and refinement, and that Los Angeles, where he was born and raised, were nothing more than a village in the Midwest, unimportant.

He acted as if Italy were a foreign country or something.

But it was worse than that.

On the fourth of July, invited over for a barbecue, as the evening got darker, and the participants at the barbecue grew drunker and less rational, out came the guns. The backyard of their rental house abutted the playing fields of Venice High School, and they thought it was fun to shoot a gun up in the air, in the direction of the school. There were dirt clods throughout the backyard to testify this was a common enough pursuit. The hosts and guests also thought it would be fun to set various things on fire, since there was an abundance of fire and fireworks, and flammable objects, such as coals, barbecues, and alcohol. Fire, fireworks and guns in a small city lot backyard as ways to entertain. I could not think of a better example of people who could be defined as hicks in their actions, who just happened to live in a city. And always had. Thus city hicks.

Have you met any lately? If you have, I would suggest giving them a wide berth. One never knows how close that fire may come to singeing all the hair off your head by accident. But man was it funny when it happened! Or at least they thought, as I jumped up, knocking over my lawn chair in a desperate attempt to get away from the fire arcing through the air towards me.