13 March 2007 - 6:07 pm

So, I had a party this last weekend (reminder to self: send thank you notes to those who showed) of which various people expressed they were coming, and then didn't show. Of course I was disappointed, I don't think I have ever invited so many people (100+) to have so few show (an even dozen). Mr. Electricity pointed out that to have 12 people show up for anything, in Los Angeles, on a Saturday night, is impressive. Tell that to my bank account, almost $500 poorer. However, the liquor I bought will easily keep, it's just the perishable food I need to worry about now. (Reminder to self: don't forget to bring remnants of delicious but meat laden corn beef stew to co-worker who expressed helpfulness in consuming any remaining amounts.)
To which my roommate Yvonne, busily preparing for an art show she has arranged to have a space for in less than a month, suggested we just throw another party. Now. And eat that food. I was doubtful only because I wasn't sure anyone would show for such short notice.

Anyway, that is not what I meant to write about.

So late Saturday night was when the time changed, three weeks earlier than previous years, and thank god for cell phones automatically changing. That was my only clue it had happened, because it said a different time than all the clocks in my house. I knew, but had forgotten by the time I woke up again.

So Monday rolled around, and somehow I heard neither Yvonne slamming the front door closed when she left, nor any alarms I had set. Nor did my phone ring from my carpool giver. I woke up about the time he would normally be picking me up. I called, only got his voicemail, left a message mentioning I was confused about the time, and hopefully he wasn't, and either he was late and should definitely wake up, or I was off by an hour and I'd be seeing him soon.

I got up, got dressed, and no word from him. This is not at all like him, he is regular as clockwork, apologizing when he is a few minutes late to my place, and me not even noticing because I run my usual couple minutes late myself. Thank god my car is fixed, and I drove myself to work. First thing I did was go to his desk and ask his co-workers if they knew anything, like he had taken the day off, called in sick, had a doctor's appointment, etc. We went and checked with another co-worker, discussed that I had last seen our friend on Friday, him dropping me off and saying he would see me at my party Saturday night. My stew loving co-worker who had been at the party knew where my car pool driver lived (something I don't even know, other than somewhere east of me a few blocks away) and said he would head over there if he hadn't shown by 10 am. Another co-worker mentioned that he had diabetes, and instead he headed directly over.

Long story short, he was found unconcious in his apartment and rushed to a hospital, where he remains today, in ICU. Only by talking with various people were we able to confirm he was fine on Sunday afternoon, when he went shopping with a former co-worker of ours. Beyond that, no one knows when he fell unconcious.

I had been feeling really guilty, like as a party hostess I hadn't taken seriously his saying he would be at the party, and perhaps we could have gone over that night and rescued him. But I hadn't said anything, because I figured he had flaked, like others had. The fact he is still in bad shape was making me feel terrible, like I could have done more. I should have been more concerned, since he does have diabetes. He manages it fine, as far as I know, since I have been with him more than once at the pharmacy to pick up his insulin. He's mentioned how he eats not because he's hungry, but because he knows he should. His weight is ideal, he's fit without effort, overall his health seems fine.

So I was greatly relieved to know that he was fine and last seen as of Sunday, there was nothing more I could have said or done, I am off the hook. He did flake on me, and perhaps he was getting ready for work when he fell unconcious. Who knows. We won't know until he is out of intensive care, but even more so, I now have reason to actually be quite serious about RSVPs to parties. What if he hadn't flaked and was getting ready when he fell ill? If I knew he really was coming, and that it was unusual for him not to show when he said he would, I would have said something, could have done something.

I also resolved that after this money sucking party fiasco (not that the party sucked, but I wouldn't have bought as much as I had if I had known only a dozen would show) I need to move to dinner parties, where invitations are formally sent and accepted. Even if it's a potluck, people take dinner invitations far more seriously than party invitations. And then I could truly be concerned if someone didn't show who had said they were bringing the main course, for example.

Anyway, that is the end of the weekend, today, finally hearing the news that nothing I knew or did would have changed anything concerning my friend's health. I am glad to finally know that. Because it was upsetting me greatly yesterday, every time I thought I could have done so much more.